Guiding Light Psychic Tarot Readings

TJ Higgs - Psychic Medium The Genuine Jesus - A Channelled AutobiographyHealing Singing Bowls Courses on the go. Holistic and Spiritual CoursesDistant learning. Alternative spiritual therapies Psychic Workshops Book Advert Ref:SM8E Elizabeth Francis - Psychic Medium Lorrain Violet Moon Kim Barden Hypnotherapy BWRT Spiritual Energetics
Sound Meditation Evening - Durham
Date: 12-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Shadforth Village Hall, South Side, Durham, DH6 1NS, DH6 1LP, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - HARTLEPOOL
Date: 17-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Hart Village Hall, Front Street, Hartlepool, UK, TS27 3AW, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - Newton Aycliffe/Barnard Castle
Date: 18-Nov-2019 8:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Middridge Village Hall, Walker's Lane, Middridge, Newton Aycliffe, UK, DL5 7JN, United Kingdom
Angelic Reiki 1st & 2nd Degree
Date: 01-Nov-2019 6:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: 99 Snydale Road Cudworth, S72 8LH, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - KNARESBOROUGH
Date: 14-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Staveley and Copgrove Village Hall, Main Street, Knaresborough, HG5 9LD, HG5 9NJ, United Kingdom
Lighting up the Earths Crystals with Tim Whild & Rosemary Stephenson
Date: 17-Nov-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Cedar Court Hotel Harrogate, an Ascend Hotel Collection Member, Park Parade, Harrogate, UK, HG1 5RQ, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - Wakefield/Dewsbury/Barnsley
Date: 19-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Netherton Village Hall, Netherton, Wakefield, UK, WF4 4LR, United Kingdom
LIVING THE LAW OF ATTRACTION RETREAT BALI
Date: 18-Oct-2019 2:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Narasoma Retreat Centre,Jalan Monkey Forest,Gang Beji No 35,Ubud 80571,Bali, Indonesia, 80571, Indonesia
The Inner Vision: Self Development Retreat 2019
Date: 19-Oct-2019 9:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: The Grand, The Leas, Folkestone, UK, CT20 2LR, United Kingdom
Autumn Gentle Yoga & Wellness Retreat
Date: 25-Oct-2019 3:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: EX37 9BJ, EX37 9BJ, United Kingdom
Energy Trinity Weekend
Date: 25-Oct-2019 4:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Royal Norfolk Hotel, The Esplanade, Bognor Regis, West Sussex,, PO21 2AQ, United Kingdom
Nantwich Civic Hall Mind Body Spirit Event 26th October 2019
Date: 26-Oct-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Beam Street, Nantwich, UK, CW5 5LY, United Kingdom
Nantwich Mind Body Spirit Event – 26th & 27th October 2019
Date: 26-Oct-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Nantwich Civic Hall, Market Street, Nantwich CW5 5NH, UK, CW5 5DG, United Kingdom
Body & Soul Fayre
Date: 26-Oct-2019 11:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Glasgow Royal Concert Hall2 Sauchiehall Street GLASGOW, G1 2FF, United Kingdom
Dorking Mind, Body & Soul Show - 28th October 2018
Date: 27-Oct-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Denbies Wine Estate, London Road, Dorking, UK, RH10, United Kingdom
Mind Body Spirit Fair 3rd Nov 2019 £2.50 Entrance Fee to pay
Date: 03-Nov-2019 12:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Hamptons Sports and Leisure, Tydemans, Great Baddow, Chelmsford, UK, CM2 9FN, United Kingdom
Divine Feminine in Egypt November 2019
Date: 06-Nov-2019 2:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Achti ResortAl Awameya, P.O. Box 43, Luxor, 83951, Egypt, 83951, Egypt
Confessions of a Hypnotist - Secrets of NLP Hypnotherapy & Mind Therapy Hypnotism
Date: 09-Nov-2019 9:30 AM

Visit Site
Address: The Clayton Airport Hotel Stockhole Lane, Clonshagh, Dublin Airport, Co. Dublin, K67 X3H5, Ireland, K67 X3H5, Ireland
7th BRITISH CONGRESS MEDICINE SPIRITUALITY
Date: 09-Nov-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Rudolf Steiner House, 35 Park Road, Baker Street, NW1 6XT, London, NW1 6XT, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - SPALDING BOSTON
Date: 10-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Moulton Seas End Village Hall, Seas End Road, Moulton Seas End, Spalding, UK, PE12 6LE, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - LEICESTERSHIRE
Date: 11-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: Turville Memorial Hall (Husbands Bosworth Village Hall), Husbands Bosworth, Lutterworth, UK, LE17, United Kingdom
Tuesday Chillaxation
Date: 12-Nov-2019 7:30 PM

Visit Site
Address: Online, 67337, United States
Future Life Progression Practitioner Training
Date: 15-Nov-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Clarendon Hotel Montpelier Row, London, UK, SE3 0RW, United Kingdom
Mind Body Spirit Fayre
Date: 16-Nov-2019 10:00 AM

Address: The Linden Hall, Lyndhurst Community Centre, Lyndhurst Car Park, Hants. SO43 7NY, SO43 7NY, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - LATE SESSION SOUTH SHIELDS
Date: 16-Nov-2019 7:45 PM

Visit Site
Address: Sutton Hall 210-212 Prince Edward Road South Shields Tyne & Wear , , United Kingdom
Spirit of the wolf fayre
Date: 17-Nov-2019 11:00 AM

Address: The manor house golf clubCastle combe chippenham wiltshire, SN14 7JN, United Kingdom
Sound Meditation Evening - Lincolnshire
Date: 20-Nov-2019 7:15 PM

Visit Site
Address: New Waltham Village Hall, New Waltham, Grimsby, UK, DN36 4QJ, United Kingdom
EFT Levels Combined 1&2 Practitioner Course
Date: 22-Nov-2019 9:45 AM

Visit Site
Address: venue details on booking form, IP24 3AU, United Kingdom
The Powerful Freedom of Choice
Date: 23-Nov-2019 9:30 AM

Visit Site
Address: The Tower TheatreNorth Rd, Folkestone CT20 3HL, CT20 3HL, United Kingdom
The Shamanic Journey
Date: 23-Nov-2019 9:30 AM

Visit Site
Address: D-Day Memorial Hall, Southwick, Fareham, PO17 6EB, United Kingdom
Worldwide Live Online Mind, Body & Spirit Event
Date: 23-Nov-2019 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: London, UK, WC2N 5DU, United Kingdom
Connect with your Angels Workshop
Date: 23-Nov-2019 11:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Healthy Yogi, Old Post Office Lane, Maidenhead, UK, SL6 1JG, United Kingdom
Mind Body Spirit Fair 24th Nov 2019 £2.50 Entrance pay on day
Date: 24-Nov-2019 12:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: Wanstead Golf Club, Overton Drive, London, UK, E11 2LR, United Kingdom
Mind Body Spirit Fair 8th Dec 2019 £2.50 Entrance pay on day
Date: 08-Dec-2019 11:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Loughton Club Station Road, Loughton, Station Road, Loughton, UK, IG10 4NX, United Kingdom
Retreat to Holy Land and Petra, Jordan
Date: 11-Dec-2019 8:00 PM

Visit Site
Address: London, UK, WC2N 5DU, United Kingdom
Mind Body Spirit Fair 22nd Dec 2019 £2.50 Entrance pay on day
Date: 22-Dec-2019 11:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Loughton Club Station Road, Loughton, Station Road, Loughton, UK, IG10 4NX, United Kingdom
ANGELIC REIKI LEVEL 1 & 2 PRACTITIONERS TRAINING - LEEDS, WEST YORKSHIRE
Date: 12-Feb-2020 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: OTLEY ROAD Otley Road, Leeds, UK, LS6 2UE, United Kingdom
Norwich Mind, Body & Spirit Fair
Date: 07-Mar-2020 9:00 AM

Address: The Forum, Millennium Plain, Norwich,, NR2 1TF, United Kingdom
Mind Body & Soul Fair - 18th/19th (20th Year)
Date: 18-Apr-2020 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: The Rufus Centre, Steppingley Road, Flitwick, Bedford, UK, MK45 1AH, United Kingdom
Free ONLINE Angel Healing Course (includes recognized accredited certificate)
Date: 31-Jul-2020 10:00 AM

Visit Site
Address: Global Online, M2, United Kingdom

International Version
Select County

Ann Sinclair - Psychic Reading Spiritual Readings Book this slot - SM12 IPHM Side - Therapists Accrediation Spiritual Events UK - Psychics For Hire Theta Healing Academy Psychic Paula VgoriPsychic Paula Vgori SMALL 12 Book SM22 Book Here - SM23 MBS Web Design - Mind Body Soul Gathering of Minds Peaceful LivingLuna Chakra and Aura Certified Course Pauline Clairvoyant Medium Book this spot (SM29)






[ View My Events ]
  +Add Event +Add Article +Add Classified +Add To Directory
Search
Psychic Readings from Spirit Guides, Career, Money, Life

Cancel These Three Painful Relationship Patterns Before They Get Started

By:Guy Finley
Date: Wed,31 Oct 2018
Submitter:Life of Learning Foundation
Views:1250

View Related

Best-selling, self-realization
author

Often when someone feels wronged by their partner they demand “payment” for the pain they feel unjustly inflicted upon them. History proves they will argue until this well-established pattern completes itself, one way or another. At some point, unable to resolve who’s to blame for the pain, one or the other will either storm off to brood over the mistreatment, or decide that “retreat” is the better part of valor and make some kind of peace offering, perhaps an apology. Sad, but true to say, in the long run, neither of these “solutions” makes any real difference. Their suffering passes into the night, but not the unseen reasons for it.

This situation sounds familiar, doesn't it? One event, a single word or critical glance triggers a negative reaction. Then and there we feel our partner has set him or herself against us, and – a moment later – we respond in kind. The feeling of being disrespected or misjudged morphs into a certainty that we’ve been betrayed; pain, not love, becomes our common denominator.
At this point, both parties are sure there’s only one way out of this misery...and that’s to get the offending party to acknowledge his or her misstep. The only way things can ever be right again is for them to make the appropriate confession and concession. But, let’s be quite clear about the following:

These unconscious demands, and the unhappy results they create, do nothing to actually balance the account we keep with those we feel are responsible for our pain. Our own past experience proves this is true: has any apology extracted from our partner ever changed the fact that – before too long – will come the inevitable demand for another one?
For our love to thrive, everything about this kind of pain-driven pattern must be shattered. Not one part of it can remain in place or else – like the root of an invasive weed left in the ground – the sorrow will surface somewhere else under a different name, and continue to darken the hearts of those involved.

Acting from any part of this old pattern – while hoping for a new result – is like polishing old shoes that no longer fit, hoping the shine will change how they feel when you put them on! Following are three simple examples of such futile actions:

Painful Pattern #1: How many times have you either heard it said, or spoken these words yourself, near the “end” of a disagreement with your partner that has no end in sight: “Let's agree to disagree.”

Now, maybe this technique has some benefit if you're at a party and, for the sake of illustration, let’s say you’re affiliated with a political group that’s the opposite of the person you’ve found yourself talking to – face to face – “debating” the two disparate platforms. A few glasses of wine later, the intelligent discussion turns into a real disagreement. Finally, comes the last resort, the socially accepted escape clause for conflicting opinions: “Let's just agree to disagree,” and so you both go your separate ways, secretly hoping your paths never have to cross again.

But what happens when encounters like this come up with our partner where, because of something they’ve done, or refuse to do – there’s a conflict between us – where we want them to agree that the problem at hand is their fault, but that’s not how they see it? The fallback pattern of “agreeing to disagree” does nothing to change the one-sided parts of us whose false perceptions and demands set us against each other in the first place. How can we know this is true? Because each time we run into anything like the event that set this original disagreement into motion, it’s not our “agreement” that we revisit; rather, it is we who are visited by the “wind and fury” of opposing forces whose continuing collision ensures that our original confrontation goes on...and on.

Painful Pattern #2: Pretend that you don’t feel any pain because of whatever just happened between you and your partner. Put on an unflustered face; show that what they’ve done “doesn’t really matter.”

Here’s why this “act as if you don’t care” routine seems to work, at first: parading an icy heart not only goes to show that you can’t be hurt, but has the added “benefit” of making your partner feel the very chill you’re giving off. Sounds strong, in theory; but, to paraphrase a timeless truth: A stone hidden beneath the earth weighs as much as one on the surface. In other words, just because we can pretend not to feel pain doesn’t mean we’re not suffering. Out of sight may seem out of mind, but the heart knows better, and grows bitter for whatever pain is buried in it. Too soon, when this weight gets too great to bear – which it always does – everything that had been buried comes rushing to the surface. Pent-up resentment is released that’s so far out of proportion to the deed blamed for it as to shake the very core of even the sturdiest of our relationships.
Painful Pattern #3: When all other approaches prove powerless, accuse your partner of having “changed.” Find some way to imply, or even state directly, that what’s gone wrong in the relationship is basically their fault:
“something” has happened to them, and that they no longer care for you, as was once true. In other words, try to make your partner feel guilty because they’ve been unable to satisfy the expectations you have placed on them.
This pattern of using guilt or shame to “re-shape” our partner is doomed at the outset. Even if we manage to momentarily make them into the “perfect partner,” the ensuing contentment of having our expectations met is unsustainable; not just because our partner is unable to maintain the makeover we’ve imagined will end our differences, but because there’s no satisfying the parts of us that almost always find something that needs to be “fixed” in those we love. This pattern of using guilt or shame to try to change our partner will never come to an end until we see that it’s not just our partner who’s weaving it!

A short summary of these last few insights brings us to a fairly stunning discovery: our partner is not– as we’re presently inclined to believe – the reason why any painful pattern keeps re-appearing in our relationship.
To be sure, those we love are as much at “fault” for whatever makes us “crazy,” as we are driven “mad” by their actions. But, the real reason behind the nature of any escalating conflict between us is...we don’t know what to do with our own pain. Trying to escape its pressure is what pushes us to try to “remake” our partner or – at the very least – to make them “pay” for our suffering that we’re sure they’re making us feel.

Seeing our own pressure and realizing it’s in our partner too is the beginning of meeting each other in a new way that can cancel these painful patterns before they get started.

Excerpted from Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together by Guy Finley.
©2018 Guy Finley
Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd.
Like This? (Click Me)
 Be the first person to like this
 Known Humans have read this.
Post a Comment   View Comments(0)
Did you enjoy this article? why not let us know.

Visit website for more info:
www.guyfinley.org








Share Page with Friends EmailBookmark and Share
Contact Me Contact Me
Request Delete/Amendment Request Amendment
Digg this article!
Delicious! Add this article to Del.icio.us!
Discuss Article on TheSpiritGuidesNetwork.co.uk Discuss Article on TheSpiritGuidesNetwork.co.uk

Post Article:
Submit Your Own Article

Leave a Comment

 

  
   
 


  


Enter the numbers shown above:

Comments

Copyright 2006-2013 TheSpiritGuides.co.uk
Tel: 07967 595893
A Mind Body Soul Directory and Spiritual Knowledge Site. Dedicated to Brenda Smith and all spiritual seekers out there.
0